When Your Activity Fails

“What’s the Taliban?” “What are Jim Crow Laws?” “When was 69 B.C.?” “Where is Cambodia?” “What does it meant to be a Tudor?”

These were questions I faced during my most recent Failed Activity with my Sky Girls. I had ambitious hopes of celebrating International Women’s Day by combining inspirational stories with research and presentation skills in the form of a role-playing tea-party. I compiled a culturally-comprehensive and historically-diverse list of famous women, got the keys to the computer lab, and assigned each of the Sky Girls with one of the famous women to research and present at a little end-of-the-week tea-party. As my visibly excited girls ran to the lab to learn about their assigned women, I allowed myself one moment of pride.

This prideful moment ended quickly as I read over my students’ shoulders while they researched Unity Dow, Rosa Parks, Malala, Queen Elizabeth and Aung Sun Suu Kyi. I had read these same lists and Wikipedia pages just hours earlier, but not from the perspective of these 13-year-old girls, but through my own college-educated lens. Somewhere between trying to quickly explain the Khmer Rouge, the Civil Rights Movement and the Cleopatra – Mark Antony – Julius Cesar love triangle, I acknowledged my plan’s shortcomings.

I’ve had enough Failed Activities that I should have predicted this less than ideal outcome. Yet, I had lost myself in the excitement of the tea-party–about bringing my tapestries to sit on and making name-tags for each girl’s assigned woman. I made sure an eclectic group of woman, both historically and geographically, were represented, and that multiple Bastwana woman were on the list. But I forgot one key aspect: It wasn’t 12 mini-Marie’s doing this activity.

I’ve sat through countless lectures about understanding your target audience beyond just the demographics. I feel as if I am really starting to know my girls – by learning their dreams and aspirations, understanding their challenges, and anticipating their thought processes. I have been surprised and inspired by their kindness to one another, and watched those who I thought would be leaders fizzle away while those who started quiet and meek find their voices.

Yet, I still got caught up in my own head. As Peace Corps Volunteers, (and probably anyone trying to do “grassroots development work” but I haven’t done that, so what do I know?) remembering why we are here is a daily, conscious effort. Being a PCV isn’t about applying for a grant to apply for a grant, it isn’t about suggesting ideas in meetings because we think it would be a good idea (because again – what do we know?) but is about getting to know people in our communities as people, beyond their demographics, and constantly checking in with these people to make sure were all together.

The tea party still happened, but obviously not as planned. (It was many weeks later because the school ran out of food so it was half-days for a week/end of term testing/once 600 kids were dancing to Justin Beiber and I still don’t know why…. After three failed attempts of bringing tea and cookies to the school I was just fetched from my house one afternoon with demands to fulfill tea-party related promises.)

Because it was so postponed, the name-tags and notes had been lost, and only basic facts about their assigned women could be remembered. Yet, some girls were inspired to do their own research on powerful women, so instead of about chatting about Ruby Bridges and Princess Diana, we chatted about Selena Gomez and Nicki Minaj (and you should have seen the eye rolls when I tried to discuss Nicki as a female star in the male- dominated rap industry….but alas I tried.)

During the tea-party we talked about what being a girl meant to all of us with lots of “why” follow-ups. Finally, one of the girls got fed up with my bland line of questioning of “Well, why is being a girl a blessing/gift/a great thing?” and responded with “Because we are important.”

Even though nothing goes as planned – sometimes because your plan is off, sometimes because there is a school-wide Justin Beiber dance party and other times because everything is just hard – things work out in their own weird way here.